faster than a speeding bullet

More powerful than a locomotive.
Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound.
Look! Down in the river!
It’s a carp! It’s an old lawn chair! It’s Steve Martinez!

This guy is like the Chuck Norris of the river. When you open a can of whoop-ass, Steve Martinez jumps out. Steve Martinez can start a fire with a magnifying glass…at night. Steve Martinez sleeps with a pillow under his gun. It takes Steve Martinez 60 seconds to watch 60 Minutes. But seriously, if you are ever so lucky as to get close enough to Steve Martinez, just look at his hands. One time Steve Martinez and Chuck Norris shook hands and Chuck Norris couldn’t make a fist for a week.

There is nobody I would count on more to get sh*t done than Mr. Steve Martinez.

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